Category Archives: Funny

My Secret

Hi fitbloggers –
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This is me.

I can do this:

and this:
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and this:
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I made this!
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I’ve been to FitBloggin every year but one, and I’ve loved every single one. I’m already planning what to pack and who to hug this year, because I know I’ll be surrounded by unconditional, judgement-free love and support.

But…
I’m terrified.

Because this is also me:
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It’s not something I’m supposed to know because it tends to drive me to unhealthy places, but after months and months off the scale, I got curious. And it’s….the biggest number I’ve ever seen.

I don’t think I’m okay.
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And it’s not about the weight entirely. It’s also about always, always feeling anxious these days. I don’t sleep enough.

I was meditating this morning, which I’m also being uncharacteristically inconsistent about, and I was prompted to think of my biggest current stressor. And the thing is, its still not my weight. Its job pressure or mom guilt, or a number of other passing stress issues.

So then I was prompted to imagine myself doing something where I felt free from stress, and it’s on my yoga mat. When I’m there, I don’t feel it or think about it or care. Which led to a torrential cry.

The thing is, I’m scared. I’m scared of how I’ll be perceived, or that I’ll spend the weekend feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

And then? I think about this, and I know everything is going to be just fine:

And if you’re looking for a hug? I’m your girl. I’ll likely be fangirling over some of you, and also bacon.

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One bad run

Y U No (Running)I started week 7 of C25K this morning.

Okay, hold on a second…  I know this is a post about how badly my run went this morning, but can we just focus on a positive for a second? I’ve never finished week FOUR before now, and today I started week SEVEN! That’s a big deal.

w00t.

Anyway… I set out to run the prescribed 25 minutes, just like I did on Sunday. Oh hey, did I not mention that here?

fear

Finishing that run was absolutely incredible. No stopping. No issues. No pain. No terrible, labored breathing. In fact… it was MUCH easier than I was expecting it to be. It wasn’t easy but it didn’t kill me. It started out pretty easy, hit tough spots around 7min and 12min, and then was totally manageable through the end. I just kept telling myself I could keep moving my feet, and that I would feel awesome coming back and telling everyone I did it, especially the people who’d read my earlier Tweet about genuinely not thinking I could do it. So hey, you guys got me through the longest I’ve ever run in my entire life, and I felt like a total superhero afterward. In fact, I felt like this:

Huh… you know this whole post started out as a recounting of this morning’s awful run, but I think I’m just going to cut that short. I completed 25min of running. I had to stop 3-4 times for about 20sec. I still finished the run. The 25 minute run. In the seventh week of Couch to 5K.

I still ran for 25 minutes, even if I paused a bit in between. I did it. I’ll do it again on Thursday, maybe even without stopping. So you know what, bad run? Don’t care!

Ermahgerd y’all, am I a runner?

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Bewbs

AerieSo… boobs. (If you don’t care about reading about my bras, you can scroll down and see my C25K update for today)

I know, I know. It’s just… well, I have a hard time finding appropriately fitting covers for mine, especially since my size has shifted just enough lately that my old bras don’t fit anymore and most new ones don’t either.

So I was really really just a little bit excited when I found ONE that worked for me, felt comfortable, and didn’t cost ten thousand dollars. I bought it on a whim, because it was on a really good clearance, and now I wear it ALL THE TIME and it’s wearing out from all the love. The weird part? It came from Aerie… you know, the underwear side of American Eagle? I really thought it would never work, since they seem mostly marketed to high schoolers… but I found a few other cute clearance things on their site (mostly business casual work shirts) and risked it. I spent very little, got a ton of stuff, and LOVE all of it.

They had a fitting event at the store down the street from my office today, so I went down and got measured since it was free. It turns out I was right on about the size I wear, but only there. I’m still in limbo between two sizes at most other stores. Sadly, they don’t carry my size in the store, but they did have several samples for me to try on so I could figure out what styles I liked.

I tried very hard not to be amused when the girl doing the measurements took them three times, double checked, and then looked up at me in horror surprise. I had to reassure her when she fished the sample out of the drawer, held it up, proclaimed it HUGE and then said she was sure it wouldn’t fit me. I tried it on. It was awesome, fit perfectly, and she was shocked. This is why I love bra fittings. Apparently I have ninja boobs that are always surprising people. Sneaky.

Anyway, I found two styles that I loved and that fit me super flatteringly, then went online and pinned pretty much every bra in those two styles plus a few from the style I already own. Woo. I live large, people.

C25K - Meegan & MeAnyway, on to running…

I did the second week 4 run today! It was definitely harder than Tuesday, but I still did it and I finished without wanting to die. The closer I get to week 5, the more confident I feel. Plus, I purposefully padded in an extra week in case I end up needing to repeat a week. I’m hoping I don’t though, since I’d love to have an extra week of practice (and maybe some outdoors running) before the FitBloggin 5K!

No matter what, I’m definitely seeing progress and feeling really good about it. Everyone at the gym probably thinks I’m a looney since I tend to laugh a little from sheer shock/pride when I finish each day’s run… but hey, a little nuts is good, right?

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What’s a chicken nugget?

Thanks to living in Maryland and working in Annapolis, my business cards have a crab on them. Evi is into cards right now, so she was checking mine out.

E: Why does your card have a crab on it?

Me: Because I work in Annapolis, and that’s where a lot of people go to eat crabs.

E: I would NOT want to eat a crab.

Me: Why not?

E: It would ouch my mouth with its pinchers.

Me: Oh honey, no! You cook it first and then it can’t ouch you.

E: Why not?

Me: Well, once you cook it, it’s not alive anymore.

E: Why?

<Insert several rounds of “why” in which she breaks it down into understanding that cooking food is good to do, makes it tastes better, and renders the food no longer alive.>

E: But I like eating food that’s alive.

Me: Like what?

E: Chicken nuggets!

Me: Chicken nuggets are definitely not alive. In fact, they’re several stages removed from alive.

A: Chicken nuggets come from chickens.

E: Chickens bring them to the store?

Me: Not quite.

A (to me): We’re about to have a vegetarian…

A: Chicken nuggets are made out of chickens.

E: Why?

Me: Because they taste good. Do you think nuggets taste good?

E: YES! (thoughtful pause…) So you have to cook the chickens so that they’re not alive anymore?

Me: Yes, you have to cook them before you eat them.

E: Okay. Chicken nuggets are yummy. I would like to yum them up.

So… yeah. She took that oddly well. Although, as is her style, we’re still expecting her to suddenly process that conversation in a week or so and declare herself incapable of eating meat. 🙂

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Monday List

I’ve spent the last five days on muscle relaxers. Essentially, I’m just tired and depressed. The pain is no longer awful, but still consistent and strong. I called my doctor about it this morning, and his suggestion was to add four Motrin every eight hours on top of the 3-a-day muscle relaxers. Personally, I think that’s ridiculous. We’re treating the symptoms, not the problem, and throwing more and more medication into my system just doesn’t sit well with me. As of today, I’m not taking the pills anymore (which is good because I’ve gone from dizzy and tired to blackout spinny and barely moving) and on Wednesday morning I have an appointment with a chiropractor. It took me an hour on the phone with my insurance company this morning to discover that they DO cover chiropractic care, but only from a very short list of providers.

The point here? Doctors are smart, hard working people who honestly want what’s best for their patients. In many, many cases it’s best to do as they instruct you. But sometimes? Sometimes things just don’t sit well with you and, as a responsible and informed patient, it’s your job to take action. After all, it’s your body.

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Thanks to the fact that Aaron’s 12yr old cousin and I share nearly the same taste in all forms of entertainment, she took me to see the Glee movie yesterday!

Glee Movie TeeI came fully prepared in my uber-nerdy self made tee shirt! Along with pigtails and sparkly shoes, I was fully geeked out.

Watching the movie was incredible. The 3D glasses weren’t too bad, and I learned some cool things. Seeing the movie with this awesome twelve year old, I realized she hasn’t quite gotten to the point of crippling self-doubt that we adults so often embrace. As such, she and I shouted and screamed for our favorite characters and we sang every song at the top of our lungs. It was fun because it made me remember how important it is sometimes to just let go of all the “what will they think” crap and let out your inner Gleek geek.

I got so into it that I actually got a little misty-eyed at Born This Way. I’m sitting there in the dark theater, singing along with my awesome cousin-in-law, and suddenly I’m feeling emotional. Suddenly it occurs to me that all of the uplifting messages and words of wisdom aren’t just for insecure teenagers. As adults, we might need to hear it just as much. We’re all beautiful in our own ways, every one of us. We all matter. We’re all worthwhile. We’ve all got something great to give the world.

Darren Criss badass

source: twinklingnight.tumblr.com

And yes, that is Darren Criss wearing a turtle costume. What? I love him anyway! 🙂

That’s sort of the point I’m making. The thing is, I’m kooky. I’m weird and silly. I write songs. I write supernatural fiction of questionable quality. I love nearly every book, show, or album marketed to tweens. It’s just who I am, and instead of feeling like a weirdo about it, I should embrace it. Why should it matter what someone else thinks about what I’m wearing or how I choose to relax?

And as for being a nerd? We also saw the last Harry Potter movie yesterday, since the same awesome cousin babysat while Aaron and I saw HP. The movie was INCREDIBLE. I laughed and cried and the magic looked so impressive. I was so emotionally drawn into the movie. That being said, I proved my ultimate nerd-hood because every time they showed Cho Chang, I thought of Starkid, and when Harry went looking for the Horcrux in the vault I had to stop myself from yelling at him to look for the Zefron poster. And if you get either of those references without Google… can we be BFF FOREVER?

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Evi-isms

7.27.11 Giraffe Mask

Evi wearing the giraffe mask she got as a prize for using the potty! She was so excited to wear it that she met us at the door with it on when we picked her up from daycare.

So the kidlet? Is teh awesum. I just had to share what she’s been cracking us up with lately.

  1. Yesterday she was cranky, so I sang her a very special version of Old McDonald in which Old McEvi had a cry, wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. This morning she requested that I sing that song six times in a row.
  2. She asked me to tell her a story about a seat. Yes, a seat. So… Once upon a time there was a seat. That seat was in a spaceship that was in outer space. The spaceship was going to the moon, but kept veering off course because of gravitational forces as it left Earth and so rockets constantly corrected it’s course by recalculating the best trajectory. Yes, that’s what I really said. Yes, physics is invasive. Evi’s response? “Wow, what a great story. Can you tell the three little pigs?” In case you can’t imagine it, this was totally said with all the angst of a teenager, as in “what a ridiculous story, mom could you please tell me something good.”
  3. Story two was a quick one since we were almost at the bus stop. Something about a snake that liked to eat veggies with cheese. Evi was quick to interrupt. “Mom!” (horrified tone) “That’s PEOPLE FOOD.”

So what have I been up to? This:

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Grow Stronger

Oh hey there! I’ve imported all of my posts from Skinny Sushi and Dr. Girl. Maintaining more than one blog was just getting to be too much. One day, a million years from now, when I have time and money, I’ll redesign the blog so that it’s got a separate page for each of the three blog topics, but for now everything is done by author, so the Skinny Sushi posts (health, weight loss, recipes) are all written by skinnysushi, and the Dr. Girl posts (pre-med, med school) are all written by Dr. Girl.

The summer is… insane, so I think a weekly post is about all I’m going to manage. So here’s the update on everything that’s going on this week, all of it dealing with how I must GROW STRONGER!

Antonio Banderas - 13th Warrior

source: explorativeapproach.com

Thanks, Mr. Banderas. The 13th Warrior (an awesome movie) is a lovely analogy here. I’m the underdog. I’m unexpected. I’ve got to find a way to WIN!

Now on to the recap.

Health & Weight Loss:

The whole health and weight loss thing? Down the drain. Seriously. I barely have time to function, let alone cook, and I’ve let the stress of my schedule and workload turn into an excuse to eat whatever. I’ve had poptarts for breakfast every day this week. I’ve eaten candy bars as a morning snack. It’s not making me feel good, and it’s not helping with my energy levels. My stomach hurts a lot. I’m gaining weight. I’m really struggling, and I just don’t know how to get back to healthy eating. I don’t have the time or energy to cook. I can’t bring anything to school that required refrigeration or heating things up. I thought about doing the once a month cooking thing, but even that just seems like too much right now. I don’t know what to do.

So… I’ll try to GROW STRONGER by getting back to 5-10 minute workouts at 4am, adding in 5-10 minutes at 9pm, and hoping for the best. I’ll get back to packing my lunch (and, potentially more importantly, eating what I pack) and I’ll just get through the summer.

Personal Life:

Bwahahahahaha!!!  What personal life? I’m lucky my husband and kid still remember what I look like. I had social plans last weekend, and a few hours of social life planned for today, and I feel guilty about both. My workload is such that I honestly should be doing NOTHING except homework. All the same, I have to look out for my own sanity too, especially when I’m getting four hours of sleep most nights. So this weekend I’ll spend a few hours with a rediscovered friend and her awesome kid while talking about premed programs and her current med school applications. I’ll spend some time with my awesome husband, making sure he remembers how much we adore him on Fathers Day. I’ll blog. I’ll sleep. I’ll recover, and I’ll start all over again.

In Evi news, she continues to be ridiculously awesome. She’s smart and funny and happy. She loves to sing and dance, she (mostly) sleeps like a champ and will ask to go down for a nap or bedtime. She’s a teeny tomboy, loves daycare, and thinks pirates and robots and dinosaurs are the best. She’s learning to dress herself, has a scary vocabulary, is oddly well spoken and annunciates better than kids twice her age, continues to be as tall as most 3-4 year olds, loves spicy food, and is still maintaining only a passing, casual interest in the potty.

School:

Thank God for some seriously awesome classmates and lab partners. I have study partners, support from people going through the same class (and with similarly insufficient sleep patterns), and people who meet me for coffee and hugs. I love my fellow post-bac kids!

I’m actually sort of enjoying the lab section of chemistry. It’s fun to play with chemicals and watch reactions and try to understand the why of it all. It’s also fun to know that if you crush up Total cereal with water, you can pull iron filings out of it with a rare earth magnet (which, incidentally, is why the cereal contains 100% of your recommended daily intake of iron for the day, but you don’t actually process the vast majority of it, thus making it sort of worthless in terms of iron).

The lecture section is harder, of course. The workload for both is pretty insane. I get up at 4am. We leave the house at 5:15 and drive to the bus stop. I get on the bus between 5:45 and 6am, and I spend the time reading, doing worksheets, doing homework problems, and prepping for labs. I get off the bus at 7:30 and walk to the shuttle. I get to school at 7:45 and study/work until class starts at 8:15. I take notes during lecture and I also record the lectures, which I listen to on the bus on the way home. I do all of the required homework on time. I get 8/10 or better on the quizzes. I get 90% or better on the labs. I work on the bus on the way home, from 3:45 to 5:15. We drive home and get here at 6pm, when I get back to work in a halfway, distracted way while trying to simultaneously hang out with the kidlet while Aaron makes dinner. We eat together, and then I put Evi to bed with a story and a song. It’s the best part of my day.

I head to bed at 8:30, where I read and study and work until 11pm. My busy, stressed out brain means I toss and turn until midnight. I do it all over again every day and night until Thursday night, when I finally get some more sleep.

Long story short slightly less long? I’m working my a** off. I’m doing everything I could possibly be doing. And?

I got a C on the first exam. By med school standards? That grade SUCKS. I freaked out. I got depressed. I took control. I met with my professor…

…and there I learned that I am the ONLY student in the class who has never taken chemistry before. (Sidenote: why would you take it twice???) She also told me, as kindly as this could be said, that statistically speaking I’m destined to fail the course. It’s no reflection on my intelligence, my abilities, or my work. In fact, she specifically said that more work is not the answer. It’s simply fact, and her fifteen years experience teaching, that tell her that a grade that “poor” and a student with no prior experience WILL result in continuously dropping grades. She said I should just plan to retake the course a second time.

That had me reeling pretty badly. I freaking out. I got depressed. I seriously questioned my med school path. I briefly considered that I just might not be smart enough to do this. And then I talked to my lab partners.

God I love them. The pair that share our lab bench are some of the smartest, sweetest (and incidentally most gorgeous) girls I’ve met, and they were both quick to offer tons of support and smiles. They both said I’d be fine, that I’d get through. But the biggest help? Totally came from a sea turtle.

Crush from Nemo

source: denverlibrary.org

Meet my lab partner, Crush the sea turtle. Oh wait… that’s not really his name. But he is a Los Angeles based surfer who came straight to the program from his time off to surf in Hawaii. When he talks, I pretty much hear Crush, which makes me smile, so thus he is dubbed Crush for blog purposes.

Anyway, Crush had this advice:

“Okay, you have three choices. You can go home, have some beers, and give up. You can go back to doing what you were doing before.”

In case you’re wondering, this sentence made me want to stab my eyes out. The thought of giving up offends my personal streak of extreme stubborn, and the though of going back to office work made me want to curl up and cry. So I really wanted to know what my other choices were.

“Your second choice is to drop this class but keep up in the program.”

Okay, this is a better choice, but still offends my stubborn streak. Besides, the class is already paid for, and dropping it now would mean a less than 50% refund. So what’s my third choice?

“Your third choice is to say F.U. and prove her wrong!”

You know what, Crush? You have an excellent, oddly surf-adjacent point. So I need to GROW STRONGER! I got a tutor. This weekend, I’m headed out to find some chemistry flashcards the tutor suggested. I’m spending the weekend buckling down (minus some family time) and getting a ton of work done. I’m going to keep trying, keep fighting, and finish the course. And hopefully, I’ll prove those damn statistics wrong.

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The training that wasn’t…

potty training

source: babble.com

We had plans this week to try out some potty training with Evi. She’s showing all the basic signs of being ready to potty train, including a ton of interest in the regular potty (not a “fun” potty seat), always telling us when she has to go, disliking the feeling of a full diaper, frequently going for long periods with a dry diaper, and enjoying time on the potty on request.

So we figured we’d give it a try. We know she’s young by current standards (although if you dig a little you discover that the current 3yrs average is extremely old compared to past generations) but since we could tell she was presenting all the right indications and I’m home this week, we figured we’d give it a go.

No go. At least not today.

(And for the one or two of you who I know are gloating because you “told me so”? Shut up, my kid’s cuter than yours anyway.)

We tried this morning, and she was super excited to wear her dinosaur undies, but after about an hour she started to get extremely irritated when I kept asking her if she needed to use the potty. After another hour or so, when she finally did pee, she was pretty upset about being wet. Since the last thing I want is her to be upset by the process, we changed her into some clean and dry clothes and put a diaper on.

Instead of trying to take her to the bathroom every fifteen minutes, I asked every hour or so and only took her if she said she wanted to go. The plan for the rest of the week is going to be the same, just encouraging her already present tendency to like potty time. Frankly, I don’t care how long it takes her. I honestly don’t mind diapers (except for the expense, of course) so as long as she’s potty trained in time for school I’m unconcerned.

Once the diaper debacle was resolved, we had a beautiful day at home together. We sung songs, danced around, read books, went on a nice walk, enjoyed lunch, played with legos, took a long nap, and made dinner together. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, when I’ve got plans for story time, grocery shopping, another long nap, and maybe some mommy & me yoga. I do still have a lot to do in terms of work and school work over the course of this week, but I’m keeping it confined to early mornings and late nights. This precious time with the kidlet is not worth wasting on something as momentarily trivial as work or school.

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Poser

I have a secret.

I’m a poser.

When I go to bed at night, Aaron is usually still in the bathroom brushing his teeth and whatnot before bed.  I crawl into bed, and I pose.  I try to artfully arrange myself to look as cute/attractive/adorable as possible while still looking like I just happened to be laying in that particular position.  I fan out my hair, I adjust my tank top to hide my belly poof, I stretch my neck a little.

Am I silly?  I don’t know.  It’s just that I always want him to think of me as his sexy wife, and not as the drooling sleepy girl he shares a bed with, you know?  I know he finds me beautiful, and I love him for always making me feel beautiful too, but I want to keep trying to look my best for him.

Crazy?  Maybe, but totally worth it.  Besides, it makes me laugh.

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Eavesdropping

I am sitting at Panera listening to a group of women talk about their kids.  These are the odd, vague generalizations I am hearing:

  • breastfed babies don’t get fat
  • once they are breastfed they won’t take formula ever

These are the sort of comments that crack me up.  Are they true for your kids?  Sure, maybe they are.  But they are by no means some sort of kid facts that are true across the board.  I was especially amused when they increased their volume while discussing the worth of breastfeeding as I fed Evi her bottle.

They also launched into a discussion of the latest parenting scandal, in which Disney is offering refunds to Baby Einstein purchasers because it not only does not benefit kids but can, apparently, harm them.  My issue here is that the article that explains how children can be harmed does not name the videos by name.  In fact, it just generally says that children under two should never watch television.  Of course, it then goes on to explain that the harm comes from children doing ANY sedentary activity (including drawing and reading) for several hours at a time.  The study was commissioned to address obesity concerns in children.

Are our children getting fatter?  Well, sadly, yes.  However, that means that the article set out to prove a particular point and, as such, is a bit biased.  I don’t believe for one instant that children should sit in front of the television for hours, but I do think that there is ZERO harm in a little bit of tv now and then.  I also think that there is nothing wrong with a few hours a day of reading or drawing, as long as you’re making sure they also get at least an hour of real, aggressive physical activity per day as well.

As in everything else, it is all about balance.  BALANCE!

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