she’s come undone by *johnberd on deviantART
First, I think I owe the cleanse an apology. Even after eating a ton of carbs last night, I woke up this morning feeling pretty awful. I think it’s allergies, but it’s hitting me HARD. I felt worn out, headachey, and a little nauseous all morning. Given that knowledge, there’s a fair to middling chance I’ll give the cleanse another try in a few days.
I slept in this morning, but I was determined to get a run in today, so I headed out this afternoon for my first outdoor run in a LONG time. Physically, I felt a TON better… for about an hour, before returning to my pre-run grossness.
Mentally, though? Y’all…
I feel like a TOTAL failure today. I went out for a 28 minute run, per the C25K schedule. I spent a while finding a flat route and walked the five minute warmup. I started running and felt pretty good, but almost immediately notice my breathing getting much too hard. I tried to slow down as much as I could and focus on my breathing, but it just got harder and harder. Granted, it was 91 degrees and 76% humidity… so I imagine that had a lot to do with it.
In the end, I ran 26 of the 28 scheduled minutes, but not more than 6 minutes at a time. I feel like a complete failure. I feel like the 25 minutes I’ve run over and over again on the treadmill mean nothing now.
Honestly, I’m panicking a little bit. I feel like I’ve totally overestimated my abilities and my achievements, like I don’t deserve any of the pride I’ve only just claimed.
I’m sad. I’m frustrated. I’m cranky.
I don’t think you are a failure. running outside for me is a lot harder than on the treadmill. I can run faster and longer on the tready without feeling tired. My heart rate is way higher outside versus inside and I burn way more calories outside. I have no hills in my area so it isn’t about elevation. It’s your first outside run so give yourself a little break. It’s hard going from a machine that basically does the pacing work for you, to having to figure that out on your own. On top of the incredible heat, your body is just not used to the outdoors yet the uneven ground, the fact that the ground doesn’t give like a treadmill does, ect. Give it a few more runs and you’ll adjust.