For the first time in a long time, I’ve taken steps away from my healthy habits for more than a day or two. Two weeks ago I stopped going to the gym in the mornings. I was worn out from earlier-than-usual allergy attacks, so I switched to lunchtime workouts. They weren’t as vigorous as my mornings, but I still felt good and was eating well.

Last week Evi started coughing, which meant I stopped sleeping. I still didn’t go to the gym, and my lunchtime workouts fell off too. On Thursday my eating took a turn for the worse as well.

Now it’s Sunday afternoon. I feel tired and sluggish. I feel worn out. I’m terrified of how hard it’s going to be to get out of bed early tomorrow morning, and even more so of how difficult it will be to resume my lapsed C25K training.

But… I WILL DO IT. I WILL DO IT. I’ve come too far not to. Like Jen was saying, I’m stronger and smarter than this. I won’t let it beat me this time, like I have so many other times before. I’m famously bad with follow through too, but not this time. This time I stand up, take control, and stop letting fear rule my life.

No more fear of social awkwardness at FitBloggin.

No more fear of my acrophobia ruining my next Warrior Dash.

No more fear that I can’t do this, because I know I can.

No more excuses, no more issues, no more crazy cleanses. Just do it.