Things have been bad. I’ve been feeling broken and sad. I reached out. I asked for help… and voila, help came. First came Karen, who instructed me to take imperfect action.
Karen has taught me a lot about self acceptance and loving ME, and she just continues to do so. For me, imperfect action means I don’t have to know all (or even any) of the answers right now. I don’t have to wait to act until I know exactly what will fix everything. I just have to act, and however imperfect that action might be, at least I will be taking intentional action back to treating myself well.
Amy made me cry. I am blown away that sometimes the person I really believe I am, the person I really want to be, peeks through and someone else sees it. Amy thought I was outgoing, confident, and easy-going. Everything I want to be, everything I AM on my good days. She made me want to fight harder to be that girl every day and not let Negative Nelly get a word in edgewise.
(And for the record, I wish I’d taken video of her doing the situps. She made it look like it was the easiest thing in the world.)
Finally, I talked to my brother. He’s a big dude, and not long ago he finally got a fire lit and decided to take control of his health. He’s been watching his food and going to the gym 5-6 times a week for several months now. He’s losing weight, shaping up, and looking INCREDIBLE. Thanks to that, we call each other a lot to talk about how our individual fitness journeys are going. I told him how I’d been feeling and what I’ve been struggling with.
He reminded me that gaining four pounds is no big deal, that life IS going to get in the way of the gym and sometimes it WILL be for several weeks in a row, that work schedules and sick kids and just a general lack of motivation happen to most people, and that I needed to refocus on the good stuff. And then HE made me cry too.
He told me that I should count every pound he has lost (probably close to 50lbs now) as a loss of my own, because he never would have started this without me. He told me that I inspired him, and probably a lot of other people too. He told me that he feels great now, and it’s because of me.
What else can I ask for, right?
So today I take action. I’m eating better. I’m moving as much as my crazy insane work schedule will allow. I’m back in charge.
Love to all of you, every one. Lorraine was right, it’s time to get on the Love Train.