I’ve developed a familiar pattern on the weekends lately, one that in the past has quickly devolved into total meltdown. I can already say it won’t happen that way this time, since I’m catching it now and very aware of it… but still.

Starting around midday on Friday, I’ve been going haywire. No workouts, bad food choices, intentional overeating. I’m taking in way too many of all the wrong sorts of calories, losing all motivation to get moving, and everything just feels off. I’m extra tired, too cranky… all because I’m making the wrong health choices.

I’m having a hard time making progress with running because I’m being inconsistent. The last two weekends I’ve felt run down, heavy, and a little sad. I know I can fix this by making better choices.

I don’t know what to do about it really. It’s only been the last two weekends that I’ve had a real issue with it, and I started out this Friday morning pledging to myself it would be different. I woke up Saturday morning saying the same thing, then I ate McDonalds. I woke up this morning promising a change, then ate a lot of cake batter fudge.

I know that some of it is frustration, an overall sense that I’m still stuck despite what feels like monstrous effort on my part. I don’t know if I really am stuck, but I feel that way. I still have a fair amount of weight I want to lose, or sizes I want to drop, and certainly a lot of strength left to build… and I feel like my progress is at a snail’s pace. It’s driving me a little crazy. I want to see quicker results.

…at this point I think I’m just rambling, so I’m putting myself to bed. Tomorrow will be better.